I've been sitting in my house for the last two hours in silence. It's dinner time, I've nothing prepared and I am alone. I finally answered emails that had been long ignored. I caught up on some blog reading. I found a recipe for Thanksgiving. I put my worn-out-sock-clad feet up on the ottoman. I leaned back into the cushion of my chair and let the warmth of our fireplace surround me. I breathed deep into my diaphragm at least four times. A single tear of joy fell on my right cheek.
It's been blissful.
I covet the quiet. You see, something horrible has happened. No one naps here anymore. Those two hours that I was granted every day to sit and write have been stolen from me. Some of my insides have died a little. Some of the beauty has faded. My life is not my own!
Not only is there no napping, but everyone who lives here has a lot to say. Isn't it precious when your babies learn to talk? Yes, then no. I am being suffocated by noise. The children chatter excitedly about everything and I LISTEN, because I want them to know that what they say is important. I talk on the phone to friends and family; they tell me their woes and I LISTEN, because I want them to be happy. Brock comes home from work and tells me about his day and I PRETEND TO LISTEN, because I want him to know that he is important but I am too tired from listening to everyone else that I can no longer really LISTEN, so we watch TV and drink wine on the couch. Even the fricken fracken animals talk all the time and not only do I hear them, but all of my neighbors hear them too, because they are a bunch of noisy assholes.
Meow Growl Nicker Popsicles! Oranges! Lemonade! Toast! Meow No! Bark Tractors! MEOW Why? whinny *Belch* Dinner? DOGFIGHT Poopy pants! HAHAHA I SAID POOPY PANTS! I'm hungry! PLAY WITH ME! Mom! Bark!TRUCKS TRACTORS Bark! DINOSAURS CHOO CHOOS! DO YOU WANT TO HEAR ME COUNT TO 100 AGAIN? Mom! MOM! MOM! MOMOMOMOMMOMOM commercials at volume 11 aaaaaand snoring.
Every. Damned. Day.
All. Night. Long.
It's about to unhinge me. And it is definitely cutting into my writing time and desire. Those who cannot think, do not write. Those who cannot write, shrivel up and die. This poor little blog. My poor little brain. *sigh*
I am a person who needs some amount of pure quiet on a regular basis. I know this and respect this about myself, yet no one in my family seems to recognize or respect that little factoid.
That is why I am moving to Canada.
I'm just kidding. Brock just put in this fireplace and I'm not moving my arse from of this chair. Plus, I know that I would eventually grow to miss the noise. Maybe. Well, not so much the noise, but the units that are making it.
So today, two days before the craziness of Thanksgiving and all the joyous sound, boisterous laughter and overzealous eating that it brings, I am thankful for two complete hours of silence. It is a gift.*
*A gift that I forced Brock to give me by making him take both of the kids to karate, then the grocery store for those items that I "forgot" earlier today.
Speaking of gifts, I need some new socks this Christmas. And napping. I would like Santa to bring me so much more napping.
Oh! There is the alert barking! The clan has arrived. Let me prepare myself with these earplugs that I stole from Brock's toolbox.
Have a Lovely Thanksgiving! May the naps and moments of silence be with you.
Peace, Love and Unicorns,